Veils
by KaeoticNeutrael
Summary: YAOI. A certain member of the Sanzo-Ikkou is harboring a very dark secret whose urges threaten to break his sanity. READ WARNING INSIDE PLEASE.
1. IntroTeaser

...ooh, by the way...nanashi means 'no name' or something similar to that in Japanese, so yeh...that's kind of important...

I also do not own or operate anything of Saiyuki, etc. etc. Everyone says this, because there are IDIOTS out there. Soo...on with the sadists wishes:

**Veils**

-

He had followed the youth knowing full well the intentions that whirled through his mind. Smiling lecherously to himself the youkai delighted in tracing racy patterns along the pert buttocks of the child with vision alone, for the moment. Strikingly green oculates continued to absorb every physical feature of his victim, relishing in the pulse of youth that beat barely beneath the skin. He had outdone himself tonight with that sixth sense of his, or maybe it was luck that had led him to this remarkable being barely on the cusp of a tenth year. Such innocent beauty could only be possessed by a child. With age came perversion, and it is in the nature of man to use everything he possesses to gain and not give. Beauty was the same, once aware of its presence the owner would surely pervert it to fit his own needs. Children never ceased to refresh him. For it was their torn and tattered limbs he turned to whenever seeking reprieve from the filth of an earthly existence...though his little excursions did wind up drowning him in sin. But as they say...anything for the children...

Auburn hair flowed from crown to shoulder, moving most deliciously across skin that seemed spun of moonshine with none of the translucency. Silver tinged orbs of crimson gazed lazily at the ebon sky, floating amid sugar crystal stars to settle on the crescent moon. Not daring to move from the trance of the maiden a soft breeze stirred the raggedly loose fitting clothes that clung to such supple limbs, a clear indicator of his heritage. From shadows dark a different pair of eyes lay transfixed at the sight before him. Gods knew he could wait as long as the boy chose to let him, the mounting pleasure in his loins heightening with each second he withheld that tender prize. Perhaps if he had the time he knew was owed to the complete destruction of this angel it would be more satisfying than it was already assuming to be. Unfortunately a time limit had been imposed, no matter how desperately his mind argued with him, and the chase had to be initiated. From the depths of well-tailored pockets an object was drawn, thrown forward to roll on its edge before colliding with the sandaled foot of the child.

It was odd to be filled with such tranquility at this moment, he mused, perhaps it was the fragrance of the flora that relaxed his conscious on this particular night. Rounding a bend in this splendidly decorated courtyard he padded silently on the gravel path, a predatory grace emanating from his very being. Raspy breaths met hisabrupt entrance into the hazy moonlight, the sudden mist curling about his ankles adding a phantom aura. Startled the boy could barely manage a yelp, stumbling back with harsh breaths, a consequence of his attempt to flee the grounds. A sinister cloud of apprehension settled upon the cherubic features, twisting them with a fear he could smell, nay, that he could _taste_. Drinking in every mouthful of the child's essence the youkai advanced faster than terror-ridden eyes could trace. Clasping a strong, effeminate hand over the boys' mouth with bruising force he nicked delicately at the junction of neck and shoulder, feeding off the strong tremors that coursed through his captives' body and into his chest.

Shimmering in the moonlight twin saline tracts ran over the elegant curvature that was this youngster's cheek. With a remarkably light hearted chuckle the kneeling figure wrapped a strong arm around the willowy waist and lifted to prop him up on the bent knee of his captor. Shadows obscured the face of this man, though a smile was evident on his slightly less than full but elegantly shaped lips. Bringing his face closer to that of the child's a tongue darted out to slowly lick the wet residue of tears. Another disarming chuckle echoed softly in the night.

"Nanashi..." Softly spoken with no hint of malice the tone was that of a reprimanding mother to her most beloved child, "look at me or I shall have to become very angry with you," another chuckle bubbled just neath the surface of those words, even as the mans other hand cupped his groin and squeezed the contents exceedingly hard.

Failing to gasp in pain because of the hand over his mouth the child stared straight ahead with wide-eyed terror, a painful strain in his chest developing that connected to his groin as the pressure was not eased. Scared to do so but unable to restrain himself the chibi angel twisted in a way that sought to relieve his pain.

"My my Nanashi, " his voice maintained the same tone though his words were louder revealing a deep tenor that was actually pleasant to hear and probably would have soothed the lad had the situation been entirely different. "What would a sweet little thing like you be doing around here? Especially at night and with no kind of protection. Could it be you're a little orphan?" The last word was purred into his ear, causing a chill to spread through his body as fresh tears of pain and fear leaked from crimson orbs. The grip on his groin increased drastically, pulling the string to his chest sharply as he doubled over, struggling hard to get enough air through his nose as the edges of his vision began to blacken.

-------------------------------------------------------

Candlelight flickered violently in a way that threatened to extinguish the flames that lined a wall of what appeared to be a dungeon. Dank sheets covered a feverish boy as he slipped in and out of consciousness on the mold eaten mattress. Dazed and aching in his nether regions the child sat up, peering blearily at his surroundings. Silver tinged crimson studied everything in minute detail, his hope falling lower as each new detail was divulged.

Propping his back against the slimy corner of the wall he cradled himself, narrow shoulders seeming to fold in as if trying to self-implode. Drifting off to sleep once more he was rudely awakened by soft, musical laughter. Looking up in horror his eyes darted around the room; seeking out the youkai whose face he'd never seen. He shut his eyes tight as the laughter persisted and even covered his telltale ears in an effort to block the noise. Gritting his teeth the youth was startled by gentle fingers ghosting over the features of his face. Blinking rapidly he stared into the shadowed face of his captor, noting the longer espresso bangs that glinted chestnut highlights and the ever discerning features of a youkai.

"Dear Nanashi...whatever will I do with you?" Pulling the cherubs face closer forest green oculates became visible, and for all the warmth his voice intoned those eyes were shallow glass. Suddenly frightened the youth fought to pull away as hardened nails burrowed deep into his skin, releasing rivulets of blood onto the sheets. Whimpering in pain the crimson eyes closed once more as they drew nearer to the gently smiling man.

"Don't be frightened, I want you to look at nii-chan," softly tsking he brushed soft lips over the chibis' cringing face, suckling at the edge of an eyelid for a teardrop that had not yet fallen. Gripping harder into his face the youkai frowned, lips still resting ever so slightly upon the lid, "I believe I requested you _look_ at me, _now_," spitting the last word out sternly he took the lid between his teeth and ripped it off, an inhuman howl of agony rising from the youth at hand. Shrieking wildly as the blood flowed the boy pressed frantically at the chest of this smiling youkai who looked very pleased at having gotten him to 'open' not just one, but both of his eyes.

"That's a very good boy, now watch me closely." Brushing those smiling lips over his torn lid, a soft green light hung about them and as he gently lapped at the wound. Gradually theblood flow slowed until it finally ceased to be and the 'lid' was healed, albeit still torn. "See, nii-chan made it all better, and you'll love me for that..." Glass hard eyes gleamed unaffectionately down from the gently smiling face. Muted with shock a soul gripping fear leaked downthe boysspine, spreading through to every nerve as crimson eyes shattered on the surface of that glass.

-tbc-

-P.S.-

**Kae-chan**: Heeeeyyyy, hopefully you are not annoyed with me just yet. Another Saiyuki fic...uhm...warning this has **YAOI** and contains rape, child molesting, graphic mutilation, suicidal contemplations (perhaps even suicide, haven't decided yet), and rough language not suitable for those weak of heart...or just...assholes who'll read this anyway to flame KNOWING they can't stand any of these subjects. Some of the things will appear in later chapters and others are already present. **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

-P.S.S.-

**Kae-chan: **I hope you liked this, heh. It was an idea I was sort of playing with after I foundout that Kanan was Hakkai's sister as well as lover. Granted Hakkai is still damn sexe and I'd bone him even if he loved his brother --sheepish grin-- I will try and post the other part sorta soon-ish, I guess it depends on reviews...but I'll probably do it anyways...but reviews would encourage me to speed up... ((**HINT HINT**))


	2. Ch One

**Kae-chan**: Mwauhahaha, back with the first chapter to this little story --grins wickedly-- I have no idea how long this will be, and I need to update my other few stories...but alas I am lacking in inspiration. Soo...again...this fanfic is just a little sick in the head --nods solemnly-- and feel free to flame as you see fit. I am also in need of a beta reader for this story, as my friend refuses to even touch it after I told her the storyline --sweatdrops-- she's a bytch....

**Sanzo**: --from somewhere within a wall-- _Or_ you're FUCKED UP!

**Kae-chan**: --glare-- SILENCE. Well...enjoy --smiles-- and comment, please.

**NOTE**

-

_Stuff in italics la la lalalala_

-

Things like that are either memories or dreams or hallucinations, etc.

**Ch. 1**

Floating through the darkness... Church bells were ringing...perhaps...maybe not...it was hard to tell anyways. Sounds seemed to travel a long distance before reaching his ears, and it was difficult to know the direction they originated. Distant noises reverberated around him, muffled by the pillowy substance that seemed to encase his body. Night and day melted together as the vague feeling of freefall came over his being, stifling his sense of time. Adrift in this jelly pocket of time lurid memories seeped into his mind, at once stiffening his member even as his conscience cringed. Gritting sharpened teeth together he fought against the stream of images burning behind his eyes. Twisting, as if the effort would help to avoid the scenes re-enacting themselves behind dark lids, he met with a solid object and was immediately repulsed by the thick thud that echoed through this gelatinous atmosphere. Blinking away the haze in his vision forest green orbs locked onto the mangled remnants of flesh that boasted of a single silver-tinged crimson oculate.

Doubling over in disgust the young man struggled to back away from the mess, bile rising to the back of his throat. Flailing his arms wildly did little to enhance his progress through the jellied surroundings, which seemed not to hinder the dripping lump gliding towards him at an even pace. Choking with guilt the moss eyed figure turned to vomit, looking up into the mass of flesh as it shifted, rolling grotesquely into a skinless mouth as broken chords of flesh formed a tongue with which to speak.

_"Nii-chan...love me...take me into you..."_

Nauseated, the man whimpered upon hearing the distorted voice rolling from mottled lips. Cowering on his knees the words took shape, swirling in a bloody vortex about the mans' limbs. Drowning...again he was drowning in the sins of his crimes, shutting his eyes could not erase the detail in which those images burned in his mind. Nor could covering his ears prevent the words from leaking in. The pain behind his eyes grew with lightning intensity, the thoughts connected to those images, to those words, banged painfully within his skull, threatening to splinter his body as the throbbing spread to the rest of his limbs. Thick fog enclosed the figure hungrily with its fiery embrace, the heat rolling over the youth with incendiary force. It was impossible to escape the searing pain that arched his back and threw him, writhing, through the liquid atmosphere. Screaming, he threw his head back, the anguished cries his only outlet even as crimson drops slid over his tongue and filled his being with the very essence of his insanity.

-

_Blackened edges surrounded a flickering image as the sensation of seeing this from a peephole came over him, nearly exciting his manhood. A glint of auburn caught his eye as the edges of said image panned out and became his whole field of vision. The bruised and battered face of an angel peered up at him, lips trembling with blatant fear as he slowly pulled the string of his pants undone with sharp little teeth that glistened in the candle light. Upper canines bit lightly into the lower lip of the youth working nervously to undo the lacing over his crotch, looking up with doubt clouded eyes._

_"Go-gomen, nii-chan...like this?" A soft soprano quavered in the still air of the room as delicate fingers extended to stroke the side of a bleeding cheek, idly playing over the swollen curves of his moist lips. Suppressing a cringe the boy tentatively flicked a soft pink tongue over the fingertip of this older man, taking the length of it into his mouth as the youkai pushed for further entrance. Another finger found entrance into the small cavern, gently goading his tongue into a rhythmic pulse of lapping. Tilting his head back in light of the new sensations coursing from fingers to loins, the green eyed man sighed, erection evident through the material of his still partially laced pants._

_"Hush, Nanashi, little boys are to be seen, not heard. At least not until I say so." A hard edge of annoyance rode on the mans normally pleasant tenor, his green eyes sliding lazily to rest on the trembling adolescent whose heated lips were extracting themselves from his fingers._

_"G-gomen..." The child blinked with the one eyelid he had left intact, fresh tears rolling from both orbs as pearly white teeth delicately loosened the rest of the lacing that restrained an ever-hardening cock. Blinking away another onslaught of tears two bloodied lips parted to envelope the others member, extracting a pleasurable sigh from the latter. Curling the fingers of one hand amid silky auburn strands the youkai forced himself into a deeper passage, the contractions of the child's throat as he gagged creating an even greater need for the friction._

_"You should thank the gods, Nanshi, for my kindness. What ever do you think would have happened had I not founded your floundering soul?" The question was rhetorical, a statement meant to increase the memories vividness throughout the years. Nevertheless it received an answer as the coughing youth pulled away from him, disgust stamped clearly across his face along with a degree of panic, evidently he had thought this to be a serious inquiry._

_"I-I don't kn-" Feral anger flashed through green orbs, an open palmed hand striking the youth flat across his face and catching him by the collar of a torn shirt as he crumpled to the side. Fear ran rampant through the boys' limbs as dagger edged nails slid easily beneath the skin of his chest. Slashing downwards the bone of his ribcage was revealed in one fluid motion, the blood oozing down pale skin as the older man knelt forward to partake of the liquid, healing the injury just enough to prevent a serious loss of blood._

_"Seen and not heard, my dear," a long finger waved delicately in front of crimson eyes, "and definitely not to stop." Nodding decisively his captor gathered a fistful of hair, snapping his head back as he kicked the legs out from under its' tender bodied owner. Smirking at the whimpers of pain two elegant digits slid down the supple form of this lad, circling round the bruised and swollen genitalia before seeking entrance elsewhere. An abrupt squeal of pain escaped blood caked lips before the youkai's hand pulled the neck back harder and the heel of his boot smashed down into the glistening white row of teeth. An explosion of rouge accompanied frenzied scrambling as long nails dug into the tender walls within the boys' body. _

_Ear-splitting shrieks broke through the romantically lit dungeon chamber as razorblade nails dug deeper and more ferociously to the insides, hot blood leaking from the orifice and onto his quivering shaft as it stood to attention, awaiting it's own turn into the tightening sanctuary. A gaping cherry cavity filled the place where rosy lips had bloomed and pulled into smiles, expelling laughter when the time had been appropriate among friends. Ripping his nails from the passage without first extracting them from the flesh he broke in once more, tearing virgin muscles with force and greed._

_"No one loves an orphan, Nanashi," He had pulled the boy up as far as he was willing to allow, head pulled back by the grip of his hand on those silky strands. The older mans lips brushed against his neck and ear lobe, hissing words that blistered his sanity. "All we orphans have is each other. ALWAYS. Your nii-chan will always love you," the thrusts grew more violent, more blood poured out from the opening, he pushed the youth flat on his back, fingers digging into the ribcage, breaking the feeble defense of his inner organs. Soul shattering screams from the gaping cherry chasm. _

_"I, and only I will take you into myself, to be a part of myself. Only I can tell you, with lethal honesty, that I have enjoyed every moment that you have ever graced me with your presence. Only I have ever truly loved you for what you are, and only I will ever love you as deeply and unconditionally, even cherishing your memory long after your demise. Know that your life was filled of illusions until this point. Until nii-chan took you in so graciously and gave you more love than an orphan is entitled to know, even with your dying breaths I love you."_

_Smile arms flung wildly at their assailant, only to be crushed at the wrists and elbows with devastating force as the man slammed into him, loosing all ties with sanity the youth had still clung to. Feeling the splinters of his bone moving messily around contracting muscles crimson eyes stared into green glass, skating upon the surface with almost affectionate grace. Who else had ever spent this much attention on him? Who else cared enough to do so? Only nii-chan had loved him enough to give attention in such intimate detail. Only nii-chan...._

_The youkai withdrew, gazing dreamily into hollow glass casings that had once housed a sprite and limber soul. Caressing the child's face his fingers traced the eye whose lid had been removed, delving his fingers into the surrounding flesh he ripped it free, bringing the orb to his lips to clean before placing the prize in a vial of clear liquid. The body no longer to responded to those activities of the living, his cue to be leaving. Gazing affectionately at the eyeball his monocle gleamed as the lissome man turned to leave and dropped the dimensional warp he had spun about the place. Slipping his limiters back upon 'human' ears he chuckled, licking the last bit of saline tinged copper from neath his nails. No matter how rushed the situation he always needed this souvenir as he kept abandoning the other ones with each initiation of the chase. _

-

The taste was in his mouth, filling his throat and belly with pulsing heat. Crimson droplets clung to his skin and eyelashes, his teeth, tongue, nails...it wouldn't go away and the lava that seemed to be coursing through his body only managed to burn the sinful liquid onto him rather than remove it. Writhing in the heat his heart stopped suddenly as cool tendrils of liquid snaked around his forehead and down his arms, encasing his body. Cloudy light filtered through the darkness, bringing with it a rising sensation, as if being pulled from the mud or some similar action. Groaning huskily the youkai struggled to open heavy lidded eyes, the hum of voices separating and becoming distinguishable.

"Anou...Sanzo, he's still hot..."

"Then put more water on him, baka."

"It's just making the water hot, though."

"Kuso, saru, move!" The dull thwack of Sanzo's infamous harisen could be heard as more cooling tendrils wrapped lazily about his torso and crown. Sighing in the luxury of relief Hakkai stirred, green oculates opening slightly to identify each member of the Ikkou before closing in exhaustion.

Hmphing in distaste the monk flung a water-laden rag at Gojyo's face. "Take care of you room mate, _I_ am going to sleep," Straightening his robes the golden haired priest strode from the room, turning round to snap at the biggest blister on his ass yet, "Don't follow me, saru, you're rooming with the roach tonight...." then as an afterthought, "The first one who enters my room before dawn will die." Making his exit Gojyo slammed the door shut, muttering obscenities before returning to Hakkai's side. Mopping at the youkai's brow the half-breed frowned, it was raining again, had been for four days now, and Hakkai had taken ill since that first one. It wasn't just coincidence, he was sure...he only wished he knew what was troubling his closest friend so

traumatically.

-tbc-

**Kae-chan**: Whee, please. Even if you hated it, comment o.o;; I frankly am so desperate for feedback I don't even care if people like this or not. Granted a little constructive criticism is always best, rather than blatant slandering.


	3. CH Two

**Kae-chan:** Hey, I finally update one of my stories --;; I'm so busy with school and shit that I've had writers block for months. I WILL continue all the stories that I have up, eventually, when summer comes around I will definitely try to update at least monthly. So…anyways…here's the next installment, it's a little different than the other chapters and takes place after Hakkai's bought of fever, indicated in the last chapter.

**VEILS CH 2**

_Golden bangs shadowed the features of Sanzo, his droopy amethyst eyes hidden beneath the lush fringe, seeming to serve as a barrier between him and the world. Nevertheless, his reflexes were lightning as he snatched the wheel from a somewhat startled green-eyed youkai and steered Hakuryu from the line of trees that bordered the mountain path. _

_"Dammit, Hakkai!" Pulling to an abrupt stop the monk turned, an intense anger building not only in his eyes but also behind the words that were spat out. "What the hell is wrong with you! If you're not fit to be driving, just say it, I would much rather lack sleep than a skull." Not removing his hand from the steering wheel Sanzo leaned over the chocolate haired youkai, whose head was hung in an apologetic gesture, and opened the drivers' side door. _

_"Anou, Sanzo-san, gomen...I think I'll take a walk, it must be my head... I just need to clear it." Swinging his legs out from the side door, he hit the ground harder than anticipated and stumbled lightly, acquiring a look of mild concern from the Buddhist and even more intense scrutiny from a certain pair of wine red spheres._

_"Hakkai," smoke drifted from the parted lips of Sha Gojyo, the demi-youkai moving swiftly to jump out of Hakuryu only to be halted by a delicately sculpted hand. Tilting his head to the side slightly a brilliant smile lit the converted youkai's cappuccino kissed features, not quite reaching those sparkling jade eyes as he assured Gojyo, in excess, that he was in no need of accompaniment. Frowning openly the lanky individual fell back into his seat, a fine edge of annoyance riding his thoughts as he contemplated that familiar turn of those lips._

-

Hardening jade eyes glared fiercely into glazed over scarlet oculates, elegant fingers brushing over the rapidly swelling flesh of his grim set lips. Pushing off the wall he had fallen against, a lean figure rose stiffly, turning briefly to survey numerous bottles of liquor that littered the table which had been occupied by himself and his companion.

"I think you've had enough to drink, Gojyo, you're acting rash," Hakkai fixed the wobbling half-breed with a steely gaze, his softly spoken words carrying a not-so-hidden threat of violent intervention.

Straightening his hunched and shaking form the demi-youkai appeared to sober up, as he stood to his full height, straight-backed. Pinning the startled Hakkai with an amazingly clear and intense stare, he moved forward, closing the distance between them in a matter of a few steps.

-

_Chocolate hair lay plastered against his skull, rivulets of water dripping from stray strands and making tracks across the expanse of his facial plane. Shaking violently the youth wrapped lissome arms about himself, clutching the fabric of his sopping shirt as if clinging to shards of sanity. Bowing his head in shame, jade green orbs gazed listlessly into the curtains of rain, letting nature produce for him the liquid that so rarely let its presence be known within his being. _

_Delicious pain arced up his torso, product of the steel hard nails currently sheathed within his limbs. Smirking darkly, the youkai withdrew his 'claws', studying their edge before inserting them where they had once been and pulling their forms effortlessly across his yielding flesh. Leaning back against a tree trunk he felt the warmth of blood spread across his belly and lay there, thick like a blanket, thanks to his shirt._

_Savoring the feel of heavy liquid pounding atop his eyelid, the other saved by the canopy his monocle created; he tilted his head back and reluctantly opened vacant eyes. Raising wine stained hands before the windows to his ever dwindling soul, Hakkai noted the way rain seemed to wash the blood away, red rivers sliding down his arms with the world around him melting in a similar way. A scarlet haze washed over his vision, vertigo taking hold of the lithe frame, even as strong arms wrapped protectively across his chest and the faint scent of burning tobacco wafted under his nose._

"_Goddam you, Hakkai, shit!" Blood spilled over lanky muscled arms, leaking from the overflowing threads of his roommates' sweater. Holding Hakkai's limp form against his own, Gojyo shambled to the door of the inn, taking the stair steps two at a time in a mad dash to their room. Slamming the door behind them he moved quickly to the shower, immediately turning the tap to warm and removing the dazed youkais' shirt, gasping at the shreds of skin that hung from ragged wounds. _

"_It's only been four weeks since that last time it's rained and you got so ill, if you want to fucking die stop fighting so hard to live!" Lowering his half-naked companion into the building pool of warm water, Gojyo rose to dig up the first aid kit, ignoring the shouts and banging against the room door. Returning the tub side Gojyo blinked in disbelief at the green light hovering around slowly healing wounds, glaring heatedly into apologetic jade, his eyes focused on the weakly smiling lips._

"_Hakkai…"_

_-_

"What have I told you, Hakkai?" Calloused finger pads moved delicately over the bridge of his friends nose and across the reddening ridge of his cheek. Staring deeply into the others eyes, swirls of grief and a long held yearning surfaced atop the scarlet pools. "Don't hide behind that goddamned smile. I hate that…it hurts…" His voice broke, turning husky with repressed emotions as he trailed off softly; scarlet orbs broke their hold over earthy green ones and dipping to the side to fall upon the shattered monocle. Tightening his jaw and swallowing back a lump he regretted striking his closest and probably only true friend, the knuckles and back of his hand itching suddenly where they had made contact with Hakkai's face.

"Gojyo, I-I-" The pleasant tenor faltered, words catching in his throat as the strong, sinewy fingers that had been resting on his shoulder began to deftly stroke the curve of his jaw and cheek. Burning fiercely Hakkai felt the blood creep across his face and down his neck, setting every nerve ablaze as the blush spread over his chest and down that forbidden path. Mouthing wordlessly for only a moment the jade-eyed youkai bade his body to stay under control even as Gojyo's intense oculates drew him, unwillingly, closer.

"Don't give me your lame excuses, I've put up with them for three years too long," frowning slightly into the nearly bewildered gaze of green he silently applauded his body for doing something useful without his consent, for once. Kneading at the junction of neck and shoulder his fingers sought to relieve the knot that was probably always present in his daydream lovers' framework.

Hakkai fought to tame the flush, lifting his chin up slightly the moss-eyed youth attempted to glare menacingly at his companion. To his dismay Gojyo remained standing just as close as before, absorbing the glare as he brought the other hand up to gently stroke the side of his torso. Biting the inside of his lip in an effort to appear calm and collected, Hakkai strengthened his resolve, muscles tensing as Gojyo's invading fingers perused the youkais delicate surface features.

Grimacing, Gojyo winced at the hardening chords, losing motivation at the undeniable rejection. "Don't I ground you? You said it once, were you lying?" Crimson strands fell in front of his face, shading the wine oculars and giving Hakkai the distinct impression of a lost child, even the normally gruff tone softened by anxiety. Panic tore at Hakkai's heart, his pulse quickening at the enticing image before him and at the fear he had for his lowered inhibitions. Refusing to concede to the rising sadist within, Hakkai slipped the mask firmly into place, even as Gojyo's pleading eyes caught his own a moment later, the forlorn expression intensifying at the removal of all emotion from Hakkai's near-cherubic features.

Clenching his jaw, Gojyo straightened his back, fighting the rising awareness of his inebriation with mild difficulty. "It hurts, Hakkai, to be around you," licking chapped lips swiftly he pushed on, enunciating forcefully in order to not stumble over his thickening tongue. "It hurts to watch you slip that bogus smile on your face everyday when I see you writhe in your sleep every time it rains." His tone was caustic, gaining strength and volume as he continued, " Always _just _watching, never daring to move any fucking closer because this goddamned blood might stain you!" running calloused fingers through his hair he grabbed a fistful of the cherry locks, hand trembling. "Oh, and may the exalted high lord Sanzo-sama himself forbid that I mar that beautiful smile you're always parading around. The facades up, dammit, why are you hiding from me?"

Studying the man before him, Hakkai noted the drained posture his body was holding and the desperate frustration beginning to build behind all the raw emotion present in his pleading scarlet oculars. Gojyo was bearing his soul, he knew, all the more reason to protect him from the sadist.

"You're drunk." His tone was harsh, the words scathing. "You're drunk, Gojyo, that's all…"

"I'm in love." Tears glittered across the surface of his eyes, turning scarlet to ruby as every insecurity and grievance crystallized in those orbs. "Fuck!" Turning swiftly from the moss-eyed youkai, he dug compulsively into his pocket for cigarettes as he paced the floor. "Do you understand this? I'm. In. Love. I'm in _love_ with my best friend, who happens to be a dude, which makes me a queer!" Stopping suddenly to throw his head back, he cast a side glance at Hakkai, grinning sardonically, "Ironic, huh? 'I don't entertain a mans request' my ass. Heh, it would've remained my philosophy if you had just decided to lay dieing on some other dirt road…"

Silence blanketed the room as rouge eyes dropped back to the floor, his form still turned to the side of Hakkai's. Gojyo, having found his cigarettes, gave an overexcited jerk of the hand that sent them flying from his fingers, sliding far enough in time to catch the heel of Hakkai's retreating footsteps. "Where are you going?" A mild confusion laced his accusatory tone.

"For a walk. I'll talk to you once the alcohol has been spent out of your system, you're not in your right mind." Crisp and brief, the reply set Gojyo's nerves on fire, fed only by the alcohol coursing through his veins. Snarling lowly the demi-youkai was hit full force with the level of his intoxication, stumbling after Hakkai, he cursed as he fell into the wall and slid to the floor.

"What's wrong, you don't like faggots?" The words exploded without though, his voice raw with emotions that threatened to damage his vocal chords. "Is this too _real_ for the goddamned life you started over? You're such a hypocrite! It's only acceptable when it's not you, isn't that right!" Punching the wall in his frustration, he caught the level glare being cast upon him by jade orbs. "You're a coward! Run, you fucking asshole!"

Softening his gaze, Hakkai stared into the glazed eyes of his comrade, watching the rapid rise and fall of the others chest with mild concern. "If you run off at the mouth you might regret what you say. I'll always absolve you, Gojyo, but for _your_ sake…do **_shut up_**."

"Taukai!" A crumpled box of cigarettes found itself whizzing by the ear of Hakkai as the youkai stepped into the street, sighing deeply withhands buried deep into his pockets. His hunger was rising at an alarming rate, damn Gojyo for awakening it, especially on such an eerily vacant night.

**-tbc-**

**Kae-chan:** Sooo…did you like this at all? I'll probably redo the thing later, it's just kind of a rough draft of the uh relationship that's supposed to be there between Hakkai and Gojyo...I suck at setting up these things --;;


	4. Ch Three

Onegai- please

Yame- stop

Itai- it hurts

**Kae-chan:** Aa, finally, the next chapter. I hope this story isn't becoming too tedious… It's been hard to find time to update...

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_"Anou…sensei…onegai…yame de…"_

_Golden streaks of weakening sunlight slipped through shabby window slats, illuminating the aerial exploits of numerous dust particles. Wavering lines of heat set the humid classroom a shimmer, giving the distinct impression of some mirage._

_"…yame…"_

_Precise rows of school desks stood to attention, guardsmen and witness to this seemingly illusionary scene. Splintered corners and unrefined wood grain gave evidence of the towns educational priorities._

_"Itai! Yame! Sensei! Onegai…onegai! …sensei…ah-"_

_Stifled movements from a dark corner. Muffled sounds of indecent child's play._

_"Quiet…Nanashi…" Espresso bangs over-framed twin orbs of rich moss green, their entire focus upon a certain spread eagle form of one luscious child._

_"demo…" Overflowing sky blue eyes gazed with terrifying rapture at his own anatomy, directly at the slender finger tracing the edge of his swollen tip with painful precision._

_Frowning slightly, the older man gave a swift nudge of his hips, rendering the youth breathless as another inch of his intimate innocence was plundered. A hollow chuckle fell melodiously upon the youth's ears from cruelly smiling lips, a volley of needles seeming to shoot up the child's spine at its reception._

_Slowly gyrating a half-sheathed member, delicate fingers traced illicit patterns across planes of yielding flesh, smirking at the goose bumps marring such perfection. Sighs of pleasure bubbled forth from full, rosy petals, their owner seemingly drunk on the physical contact._

_Smirking lecherously, moss green oculates narrowed, plunging his length to the hilt in one fluid motion. Arching up in pain, sharp canines dug deeply into fleshy lips, a cry of lost innocence escaping the creamy column of flesh now under attack by forceful lips, teeth and tongue. Gripping either wrist, fine muscled arms lifted the child to a rocking chair position, flicking mercilessly at the quivering erection reddening with need._

_"Sensei!" Panting in pain and unrestrained lust, sky oculates pleaded shamelessly with hard green glass, pliant limbs beginning to move of their own accord to attain release. Smiling pitilessly to the squirming child, the man remained stock still, allowing every shred of purity to melt from his captive as the chibi angel worked himself vigorously on the older mans rod._

_"Onegai, Gonou sensei!" Frustration dripping from every syllable, the youth viciously struggled to reach his own anatomy, twisting violently in the other males grip of steel, grinding his hips upward in some vain hope of making contact with any swatch of flesh available in the area._

_Smirking with emotionless eyes, Cho Gonou squeezed the others length exceedingly hard, a cry of shock turning swiftly to one of desire as the youths own gyration forced his undeveloped manhood to slide roughly in his sensei's grip._

_Convulsing with overloaded senses all movement ceased in one final moan, the rapid rise and fall of a small chest the only indication of any living presence in the room. Releasing the grip he currently held on the boys' wrists, Gonou sensei watched stoically as the child struggled to move fast enough to catch himself, a dull, sickening thud product of his inability. Rubbing his head slowly, small tears began to swell atop the sky orbs, shame and confusion shimmering in their depths._

_Gripping the narrow hips hard enough to draw blood, Gonou sensei slowly began to pull out, eliciting a whimper of pain as the tightened orifice refused to yield to any kind of movement. Pausing only a moment, the swift thrust that followed gave way to screams of agony as the cycle was brutally repeated. The beating of small fists ringing through the stale classroom air, resounding even after all movement had ceased to be._

-

Startled out of his reverie, green orbs took to absorbing the contents of his environment. A slight shake of the head confirmed his own paranoia, for a second he had thought that banging was real and not just the product of his over indulgent imagination. Another cursory glance at the dark alleyway he'd retreated to and the lithe man sighed softly, tilting his head back to lean against the damp wooden wall. Drawing his knees tightly into his chest, Hakkai chewed over the stringy remnants of his past.

Why had he decided to recall that particular incident? It hadn't been his first time doing such a thing…or his last. He had been teaching then…for him and Kanan.

Kanan… That festering wound of his soul…that indecent atrocity against man, their filthy relations. A slight smile began to bloom, soft snickering lifting from the barely parted petals. How he craved that immorality, those nights of spent passion, watering the soil of his inverse Garden of Eden. Lacing delicate fingers together to rest against his chin in mock prayer, moss green orbs implored the heavens to send back his fairest Lilith, to feel her decaying embrace once more.

Kanan…the launching platform of his deviance. That day…that child…he had been 'playing with his students'. Maniacal barking laughter erupted from the youkai's throat, his whole form shaking with the thoughts flowing rapidly through his head.

Kanan… Who was she exactly? A lover…a sister…a deviant. Glimmering images flashed before the mans eyes, her face contorted in immense pleasure, her body grinding against his own, those succulent lips wrapping around his fingers in physical praise. Those eyes peering up into his own, lips mouthing wordlessly _please please, Gonou_ in front of his own cock, the decision to be surrounded by fleshy warmth completely in his control.

Control…his…always…it seemed almost inherent. Yet…control couldn't be absolute unless it was solely his decision…any willingness on the others part undermined his authority.

Crystalline shards of a bedside lamp glittered across the carpet, Kanan… Face first in the mess, moaning, bruises across her cheeks like some exotic blush. She hadn't wanted this…not this brutality…yet she had expressed her agreement in his absolute control… Frightened eyes with the light of some inherent innocence in their depths, yet that pulse of desire beat strongly beneath all the layers.

Innocence…that abhorred inclination…that syrupy sweetness that caused his soul to thrash in diabetic convulsions. A concept dispelled once reality takes over. A reality that could be forcefully induced to burn away the sugar. Bitter crystals of blackened innocence…the most delectable flavor enhancer…

Rivulets of cherry serum flowed steadily into an eager mouth, a velvet tongue lapping desperately around the ragged wound. Smirking against the flesh of his wrist, Hakkai hurriedly healed his incision, becoming lightheaded with the impending hunt. Rising gracefully, startlingly bright oculates surveyed the alley and beyond, chuckling lightly at the blanket of darkness surrounding this dingy little town.

Tonight… Tonight he would hunt.

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Chunks of hastily smashed beer bottles glittered serenely among splinters of wood. Overturned tables and chairs sprinkled with cheap plaster dust, it's powdery origin having been ripped from one wall and hurled into another only so many feet away. Looping through the debris ribbons of vermillion lace lay a fine trail to one cherry-locked demi-youkai. Body curved in a loose fetal position, merciless light illuminated every rage induced score, a bed of cherry lace pooling beneath the man.

Copper tinged air invaded weakening lungs in shallow and slowing intervals. Fresh tracks of saline shone brightly on bronzed skin, their ruby source barely more than pained slits gazing unfocused at the world. Sighing softly, Gojyo waited, fingertips twitching with the realization of their frozen numbness. Darkness was encroaching upon his maimed vision with an almost audible hiss of pleasure, the need to be smothered by another's warmth gripping his now sluggishly functioning heart. A slight smirk curled cold, stiffening lips as he idly wondered whether he had overreacted to Hakkai's flight. A snort of mirth nearly had a lung choked up with the coughs that followed. This was the last rejection he could take. The only creation in this whole filthy hell-hole he had ever deposited any real affection on had suddenly ceased to be. Of course he hadn't overreacted, contrary to the loss of life fluid screaming at him that he had.

Blinking slowly the sound of approaching footfalls echoed loosely in his mind. A harsh jab of some random combat boot jerked the demi-youkai into a state of slight alert. A halo of light reflecting surreally around golden locks, obscuring his intruders features.

"More fucking rubbish I need to clean up." Pale hands wrapped none too gently about bronzed shoulders, hoisting a frame larger than himself across the room and up a flight of stairs.

"Still a fucking jackass…"

"Tch. I'm going to be the one to kill you, roach, remember that." Depositing the body of one Sha Gojyo upon the tiled floor of the grimy bathroom, Genjyo Sanzo began to hurriedly wrap serrated gashes littering the others arms, squatting by the feisty water sprites prone form.

"All that damn alcohol is making you bleed like a fucking fountain." Irritation laced the priests' oration, amethyst eyes closed in wariness as knowing fingers worked to deter the blood flow.

"Heh. I thought it was pretty." A hard scoff greeted the softly mumbled statement.

"Only a dumbass like you…"

"It was like red lace… I guess…"

"Baka."

Sitting up unexpectedly, crimson met violet, Gojyo running a bandaged hand through his blood and alcohol matted locks. Rolling his eyes in impatience, Sanzo continued to wrap the other arm, making it a point to blatantly ignore the piercing stare Gojyo was sending his way. Having finished his task, the golden haired priest sat back on his haunches, lighting a Marlboro and inhaling deeply.

"Lemme have a hit…"

Eying Gojyo warily, the monk slowly extended the cigarette, watching with a sense of impending doom as the kappa's outstretched arm purposely overshot his own and ended up spooning the curvature of Sanzo's cheek. Moments passed in heavy tension, Sanzo bringing his rejected Marlboro back to suck on, exhaling the smoke slowly so that it appeared to drift out of its own accord.

"You got a staring problem?"

"Now, Sanzo-sama, here you have one damn fine specimen of a man completely at your disposal and all you can be is a jackass."

Bolstered by fake cheer, Sanzo did not miss the edge of desperation riding on the others words, nor the almost insane light of need burning fiercely within crimson orbs. Withdrawing his body slightly, amethyst eyes looked over thedemi-youkai with blatant disgust, the hand that once cradled his cheek falling numbly to rest heavily on his shoulder.

"You're going to die here if you don't rest and all you can think of is sex. What kind of ignoramus has priorities like that!"

Scathing words fell like daggers into Gojyo's waiting mentality, shattering a sheet of self-deception into so many shards of sparkling ruby, only to embed themselves further within his wounded psyche.

"You-"

Cutting short his building rant, the hand that had been resting silently leapt to the alabaster column of the monks throat, blocking his air passage in a fatal way.

"It's not just sex!" Scowling darkly into the crimson orbs, Sanzo made no move to stop this inflicted brutality. "I-I don't know, Sanzo! I don't know any other way to connect with people…I can't find any other way…" Weakening with his failing voice, calloused fingers trembled and dropped to the floor in an effort to catch his slumping form. Bent forward, knees folded beneath him, a soft hand lighted upon his shoulder, the owner of amethyst eyes staring with as much compassion as a stone into his own ruby oculars.  
"You wanted to connect with me?"

"…just…with someone…"

"You know I'm not that person, Gojyo." Softening his gaze, Sanzo withdrew his hand extending it again with a lit marlboro. Weakly taking the cancer stick, Gojyo inhaled deeply, closing his eyes in fatigue.

"It's Goku, isn't it?" A soft hum of breath as Sanzo exhaled his own cloud of poison.  
"Goku and I are not involved." Knowing tainted eyes stared levelly into deepest purple dusk.

"But he is _yours_."

"Yes." Silence blanketed the room, comfortable this time and almost warm enough to cuddle into.

"Where is he tonight?"

"I had gone downstairs to find out, but he can take care of himself, I have no need for those who can't."

"Of course"

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"Oi! Hakkai! Ara hetta!" Jumping joyously at the site of one of his companions, a certain amber eyed youkai ran full speed towards the figure, clasping strong arms about his friends willowy waist.

"Aa, Goku, why are you out so late, hm?" Smiling gently, blazing green oculates took in the flush in his shorter companions' cheeks and the heaving chest beneath his street clothes.

"Eh, don't tell Sanzo, cuz he'd kiiillllll me, but I got lost…" Smiling sheepishly, the child-like Goku took to rubbing the back of his head with a nervous hand, Hakkai's smile widening at the coquettish display of innocence.

"Aa, well, we can't have that. We'll just tell him you were with me. Why don't we get something to eat before we go back, though, I doubt him and Gojyo left us any scraps."

"Aw, really, Hakkai! Sweet ass! Let's go, I want some meat buns and spring rolls and sukiyaki! Oh oh, and also some of those hot sweet cakes that you usually get."

"Maa maa, we'll see Goku…" Placing a guiding hand at the small of the others back, a dangerous glint hardened the emerald oculars, his gentle smile turning to ice as the darkness swallowed their retreating forms.

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**Kae-chan: **The end of this chapter. Please review, and I hope it was all right...sorry for hardly updating. 


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